Triguna on Tinder — Body2Business Failure

In 2018, I was a professional massage therapist. I provided massage services to everyone—men, women, couples, and transgender clients. I never refused anyone. I also used to visit the homes and hotels of girls and women to provide body massage services. Some women liked my massage so much that they called me repeatedly for service.

Many clients would ask me, “You look well educated—why do you give massage services?”
I would tell them, “I am researching Sanatan Dharma. To practice different subjects, I do different kinds of work. I became a massage therapist to practice Kamashastra.”

One day, my friend called me and told me that he had been chatting with a beautiful girl on a dating app, and she had taken a massage service from him. So, I thought I would also try dating apps to get female clients for body massage services. As soon as he hung up the call, I installed five or six dating apps.

The first app I installed was Tinder. I set the age filter from 18 to 81 and selected only females. Then I started swiping right on everyone until I hit the daily limit. For one month, I played this game, but nobody matched with me. I would tell my regular female clients that I was searching for new female clients through dating apps. A few of my female clients were also using paid dating apps. They suggested that I should try paid subscriptions as well, but at that time I could not even afford a TV recharge, so buying a paid dating app subscription was impossible in that phase of my life.

One day, I told my friend that I had been using dating apps for one month to get new clients, but I had not gotten even a single client. He replied that he had gotten his first female client only after using dating apps for three years. At that moment, I deleted all the dating apps and stopped searching for clients on dating platforms.

When some of my female clients came to know that I was using dating apps, around six or seven women asked whether we could be in a relationship. Most of them wanted whole-day digital chatting, but I hate digital chatting.

It feels like I'm wasting my time; I do amazing chatting to make clients satisfied, but I never feel any emotions while digital chatting. So, I told them, “I am a therapist. I meet three to four different women every week, so I am not suitable for a relationship. As long as I am a therapist, I am not fit to be in a relationship with anyone. Therefore, I cannot be in a relationship with you.”

Three or four girls also asked me if we could go on dates. I told them, “If we cannot be in a relationship and cannot get married, then what is the point of going on dates?”
They would say, “We’ll roam around like friends, have fun, and eat together.”
The moment a girl mentioned food, I would melt instantly, and I would agree to go on a date.

I told them clearly, “I can entertain you, but I cannot pay the bill. If that’s acceptable, I’m ready to go anywhere on a date.”
The girls paid the bills, and I entertained them and made them wet with laugh.

I went on dates very frequently with two girls. One girl was crazy about vampire dramas—she constantly bit my arms and fingers and even my shoulders, behaving in an extremely vampiric way. She bought food for me, and I allowed her to eat my fingers.

The other loved traveling, shopping and would make me carry her luggage like a porter. One thing both of them had in common was that they constantly spoke badly about their ex-boyfriends.

I told both of them, “I cannot listen to bad things about anyone. If you criticize others, I become sad, and if I am sad, how will I make you happy?”
But even then, they continued criticizing people. I felt like they were not dating me; they had hired me to listen to them nonstop in exchange for food.

I was unable to form an emotional connection with either of those girls because they had one strict condition: I was not allowed to call or message them first. If I ever contacted them on my own, they would immediately block my number and would never meet me again. Whenever they wanted to talk to me or meet me, they would call me themselves.

Sometimes I felt like talking to them, but because of this condition, I could not call them on my own. At such times, I would feel angry toward them.

I went on dates with them to many different places—gardens, malls, theatres, markets, picnic spots, bike rides, romantic destinations, and more. The most enblissable place was always restaurants. There, I got to eat delicious food—burgers, fried chicken, garlic naan, biryani, milkshakes, and many other tasty items that I would never have dared to buy with my own money. Both girls were very rich. Their monthly earnings were more than what I earned in an entire year. So, they bore all the expenses of the dates, while I only bore their tantrums.

Sometimes, I went on a date with one girl in the morning and another in the evening, and both of them knew about it—that I had started going on dates with clients just to taste different foods. I was dating both girls during the same time period. Because of these dates, I sometimes couldn’t attend to my other clients.

One day, I went on a date with a girl. During that time, I received an appointment request from one of my regular couple clients. They were consistent clients and paid ₹5,000 per session, but because I was busy on the date, I couldn’t take their appointment.

If I hadn’t gone on that date, I might have provided massage services to that couple, had dinner with them, spent a pleasant time together, and earned ₹5,000 as well. That day, I realized that going on dates without any emotional connection, just for free food, is a waste of one’s precious time. After that day, I stopped going on dates with clients when there was no emotional attachment.

One day, the vampire girl got a new boyfriend. She told me, “Now we can’t meet anymore. I have deleted your number—please delete mine too.”

First time in life a girl said to me, “We will never meet again,” and I was so happy. After that, I never met her again. Now I was dating only one girl. The other three or four girls would take me out on a date once every four to six months.

There was one girl who took me out on a date every week. One day she asked, “You don’t want a relationship. You talk about religion and God, you talk about writing a religious book, you give massages to anyone without refusing anyone. Why are you doing all this? Don’t you ever feel shame or helplessness?”

I replied, “Feeling shame and helplessness is on my bucket list, but I haven’t experienced them yet. I have made a list of sixty-four emotions, and to experience all of them, I deliberately place myself in different situations. I can go to a hotel and eat alone, but that wouldn’t give me anything. Just as spending time with you helps me understand your nature and character, I do these things to understand other people as well.”

One day, while we were on a date, she took me to her house midway. She told me, “Don’t tell anyone that you’re a therapist. Say that you’re writing a book.”

I asked, “But why are you taking me to your house? If there’s a plan, tell me now—I don’t know how to act.”

She said, “My cousin has come home. I’ll meet her, and then we’ll go out on our date.”

I went to her house. It was a very large, luxurious home. I sat on the sofa in the hall, and she went to another room to talk to her cousin. Her parents and a maid were at home. I had no script and no idea what to say if her parents asked me anything.

Her father came and sat beside me on the sofa and started talking.

Uncle: “Where do you live?”

Kedi: “Vashi, Navi Mumbai.”

Uncle: “Where had you both gone just now?”
Kedi: “Your daughter wanted to eat ice cream, so she called me to eat ice cream. But you called her, so we came straight home without eating anything.”
Uncle: “Which ice cream?”
Kedi: “I don’t eat ice cream. I don’t know the names. All her friends were at work, and I was alone at home, so she called me to eat ice cream.”

Uncle: “Where did you first meet my daughter?”

Kedi: “Uncle, I honestly don’t remember. If I ask your daughter the same question, she might hit me or break our friendship, so I never asked her. I am a writer—we might have met at some book event.”

Uncle: “Which book event did you attend last?”

Kedi: “I haven’t attended even a single book event yet.”

Uncle: “Are you forgetful?”

Kedi: “Yes. How did you know?”

Uncle: “What do you write?”

Kedi: “I write about Sanatan Dharma. For religious knowledge and research, I travel across India on a bike.”

Uncle: “How much do you earn?”

Kedi: “Uncle, I am only your daughter’s foodie friend.”

Uncle: “What is a foodie friend?”

Kedi: “Friends who meet only to eat food.”

Uncle: “Do you pay for my daughter’s food?”

Kedi: “No, she pays the bill.”

Uncle: “I’m getting confused by your answers. I can’t understand whether you’re telling the truth or lying.”

Kedi: “You’re right, uncle. All my friends say the same thing. Your daughter says it too. Nobody takes me seriously.”

Uncle: “Have you done any work other than writing?”

Kedi: “I have worked in 10–12 big companies—SBI Bank, ICICI Bank, Shriram Finance, Spanco Call Center, and many others. Last year, I was also a detective agent in an agency.”

Uncle: “What do you want to do in life?”

Kedi: “After two years, I will write religious scriptures, create a website, and become a spiritual teacher to spread Sanatan Dharma.”

Uncle: “Are you a sattvic Brahmin?”

Kedi: “What does sattvic mean?”

Uncle: “You research Sanatan Dharma and don’t know about the three gunas—sattvic, rajasic, and tamasic?”

Kedi: “I honestly can’t recall right now.”

Uncle: “You’re definitely lying about something. Are you a Brahmin?”

Kedi: “Right now, I am a Vaishya. Maybe after two years, I could become a Brahmin.”

I had learned website blogging in 2014 and had already started writing a Sanatan Dharma blog. I opened my blog on my mobile and showed it to him. He was shocked. He couldn’t believe that I could create a website and write articles.

Uncle: “Your words and your work don’t match. For the first time in my life, someone has confused me this much. You tell me yourself—what do you know about Sanatan Dharma?”

Kedi: “33 koti deities, Navadurga, Dash Mahavidya, eight energy chakras, twelve celestial bodies, Hiranyagarbha, Vaikuntha, Moksha, the four Purusharthas, Ashta Siddhis, 84 lakh life forms, and much more.”

Uncle: “You know so much, but you don’t know sattvic?”

Kedi: “I remember now—sattva guna, rajo guna, tamo guna. I call sattvic ‘sattva guna,’ so I got confused.”

Before he could ask more questions, the girl came back. The uncle asked his daughter, “How do you know him?”
She got scared, thinking that her father had found out that I was a massage therapist. She asked me, “What did you tell Dad?”

I said, “I told him everything about writing and Sanatan Dharma.”

She asked her father, “What happened? He is just my friend.”
The uncle said, “I can’t decide whether I should respect your friend or ask him more questions.”

She told him, “This boy puts himself into different situations to gain religious knowledge. He does many such things.”

Uncle: “Even when you’re going out now, will you gain knowledge of Sanatan Dharma?”

Kedi: “Yes, uncle. I am trying to understand the different tastes and smell of the matrix dimension. Today, I might research the taste of ice cream.”

Uncle: “I wanted to talk to you more, but let it be. I don’t want to get more confused.”

I quietly told the girl, “Let’s leave quickly. Even I don’t know what answers I’m giving.”
But she said, “I’ll drop you after speaking to Dad.”

She walked me to the society gate and said, “My cousin came suddenly, so I can’t go out today. We’ll meet again. I’ve transferred 500 rupees—go and eat ice cream.”

I got money to eat ice cream, but I don’t like eating ice cream. I prefer something else, so I ate tandoori chicken worth ₹250 at a nearby hotel and then went home. And that happened because I follow my own matrix rule. If I had followed someone else’s matrix rule, I would have eaten ice cream, but the real purpose would never have been fulfilled.

She gave the money to enjoy, and I ate what I like and enjoyed it. I easily dealt with the matrix of ice cream, but the matrix of the word “sattvic” was so strong that it kept echoing in my mind. I tried to recall more information about sattvic qualities, but nothing came to me.

Whenever I forget something about a subject, I ask Ganesh. There is another mind within me, and its name is Ganesh. I lay down on my bed and began talking to him.

Kedi: “What are the three gunas?”

Ganesh: “There are three qualities—sattva, rajas, and tamas. Together, they are called the triguna.”

Kedi: “Why are there three gunas?”

Ganesh: “Qualities were created to produce action and reaction in specific ways.”

Kedi: “Then why three? Why not just one?”

Ganesh: “If everyone liked only vada pav like you do, who would eat samosas? Everyone has different preferences. To give different people different kinds of action and reaction according to their preferences, three gunas were created.”

Kedi: “What determines the preferences of the gunas?”

Ganesh: “The triguna has five elements. Each element has three preferences, and those preferences motivate action and reaction.”

Kedi: “What are those five elements?”

Ganesh: “Lifestyle, nature, perspective, diet, and tendency—these are the five elements. Each element has three gunas.”

Kedi: “What is sattva guna?”

Ganesh: “An action or reaction that contains stability and peace is sattva guna.”

Kedi: “What is a sattvic lifestyle?”

Ganesh: “In a sattvic lifestyle, there is less struggle and less greed, so life passes peacefully. Sattva provides a calm and harmonious way of living.”

Kedi: “How do I know if my life is peaceful?”

Ganesh: “If you don’t have to struggle to get things, don’t have to fight with anyone, and no one is doing injustice to you, then understand that your lifestyle is peaceful.”

Kedi: “What is the nature of sattva guna?”

Ganesh: “The nature of sattva guna is compassionate. When you feel an immediate urge to help someone, know that your nature is sattvic.”

Kedi: “What is the perspective of sattva guna?”

Ganesh: “The perspective of sattva guna is focused and gentle. When you desire one thing and that desire does not weaken after seeing other things, that is sattvic focus.”

Kedi: “What do you mean by desire and single-pointedness?”

Ganesh: “You want to eat vada pav. At the stall, you see samosas, jalebis, and sandwiches. Even after seeing everything, you eat only vada pav and don’t get distracted—that is a sattvic perspective. The day you go to eat vada pav but choose a sandwich instead, understand that your sattvic perspective is gone.”

Kedi: “What is the diet of sattva guna?”

Ganesh: “Sattva prefers pure, simple vegetarian food. Fruits and sweets are liked.”

Kedi: “What is the tendency of sattva guna?”

Ganesh: “The tendency of sattva guna is social service. When you feel that you want to serve society, or you are already doing so, understand that your tendency is sattvic.”

Kedi: “What is rajas guna?”

Ganesh: “An action or reaction filled with enthusiasm and happiness is rajas guna.”

Kedi: “What is a rajasic lifestyle?”

Ganesh: “In a rajasic lifestyle, there is strong enthusiasm to fulfill various desires and hobbies. Life passes with excitement and pleasure. Rajas provides an energetic lifestyle.”

Kedi: “What is the nature of rajas guna?”

Ganesh: “The nature of rajas guna is selfish. The mentality is that one should get everything first and others later.”

Kedi: “What is the perspective of rajas guna?”

Ganesh: “The rajasic perspective is aggressive and opportunist. When you desire one thing and, after seeing other things, you also demand them, constantly looking for loopholes to take advantage—this is the aggressive rajasic mindset. The day you go to eat vada pav and end up eating vada pav along with a sandwich and jalebi, understand that your perspective is rajasic.”

Kedi: “What is the diet of rajas guna?”

Ganesh: “Rajas prefers sour, sweet, spicy, salty, heavily cooked, and tasty food.”

Kedi: “What is the tendency of rajas guna?”

Ganesh: “The tendency of rajas guna is family pleasure. A person who works only for the happiness of their own family has a rajasic tendency.”

Kedi: “What is tamas guna?”

Ganesh: “An action or reaction filled with restlessness and pain is tamas guna.”

Kedi: “What is a tamasic lifestyle?”

Ganesh: “In a tamasic lifestyle, there is excessive struggle and excessive greed, so life passes in unrest. Tamas gives a painful way of living.

Kedi: “How do I know if my life is painful?”

Ganesh: “If you have to struggle a lot to get anything, fight with people, battle for your rights, or face injustice, then understand that your lifestyle is painful.”

Kedi: “What is the nature of tamas guna?”

Ganesh: “The nature of tamas guna is greed. The mentality is that everything should belong only to oneself, and no one else should get anything.”

Kedi: “What is the perspective of tamas guna?”

Ganesh: “The perspective of tamas guna is confused and naughty. When you desire one thing but, instead of focusing on it, you look at other things and become confused about what you actually want—that is the confused tamasic perspective. The day you go to eat vada pav but instead of looking at vada pav you look at everything else and start wondering what you really want, understand that your perspective is tamasic.”

Kedi: “What is the diet of tamas guna?”
Ganesh: “Tamas prefers non-vegetarian and stale food. All packaged foods are tamasic.”

Kedi: “What is the tendency of tamas guna?”

Ganesh: “Tamas has a criminal tendency. The mind is always planning some kind of wrongdoing. All criminals have a tamasic tendency.”

Kedi: “Is this all about the characteristics of the triguna?”

Ganesh: “There is one more characteristic. A single person does not have all five elements of only one guna.”

Kedi: “Means?”

Ganesh: “A person may have one element of sattva, one of rajas, and three of tamas.”

Kedi: “Which elements do I have?”

Ganesh: “Your lifestyle is tamasic, your nature is sattvic, your perspective is tamasic, your diet is tamasic, and your tendency is sattvic.”

Kedi: “I have two sattvic elements and three tamasic elements, and not even one rajasic element. Why is that?”

Ganesh: “It is not necessary for everyone to have all three gunas. Every person has two gunas, but in different proportions. However, no person can have all five elements of a single guna.”

Kedi: “Are my guna elements fixed, or can they change?”

Ganesh: “As long as your nature and character remain fixed, the guna elements remain fixed. The moment your nature and character change, the guna elements will also change.”

Kedi: “Since I don’t have even one rajasic element, what effect will that have on my life?”

Ganesh: “To people, you will either seem like a saint or a schemer—either very good or very bad. There is no middle option.”

Kiran: Some people have the desire to do something great for society, some people have the desire to marry a good partner, and some people have the desire to become a great criminal. Is this also caused by the triguna?

Ganesh: Those long-term and powerful desires are called vision and mission. They are connected to one’s tendency. A person whose tendency is sattvic will desire to do great work for society. A person whose tendency is rajasic will desire to marry a good partner. A person whose tendency is tamasic will desire to become a criminal involved in corruption, betrayal of the nation, or terrorism.

Kiran: I was given money to eat ice cream, yet I did not eat ice cream—I ate chicken instead. Was that also connected to some triguna?

Ganesh: That was connected to your preference for tamasic food. You were honest and independent with yourself, so you chose the food that gave you happiness. If you had eaten ice cream, you would not have felt happy, and the money would also have been wasted. The girl’s purpose would not have been fulfilled either. By eating ice cream, the money, your happiness, and the girl’s intention—all three would have gone to waste. By eating chicken, the money was used properly, you experienced happiness, and the girl’s purpose was also fulfilled.

Conclusion: That day, I realized that I have two sattvic qualities and three tamasic qualities. Some people may follow a sattvic diet, yet their nature can be tamasic. Others may consume a tamasic diet, yet have a sattvic nature. Therefore, whether a person is good or bad does not depend on their food, but on their nature. Even someone who eats chicken can be a saint, and even a strictly vegetarian person can be a criminal.

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