From Joker to Astrologer

 

From Joker to Astrologer

Yogita Left, Saw Everyone

I used to work in a call centre in 2008. As long as Yogita was there, I didn't notice any other girl except her. The moment Yogita resigned and left, I suddenly started seeing girls all around me. I began looking for Yogita in every single girl.

During a tea break, I was flirting with a girl, and she seemed to be getting excited. I told her, “I’ve become crazy about your smile. Your smile isn't letting me write my resignation letter. Your smile is a hundred times more precious than my salary.”

I was continuously praising her, and she kept smiling and saying over and over, “More, more, tell me what else you like about me?”

When all my words were exhausted, I accidentally said, “I can’t lie anymore; it would be a sin.”

Flirting Turned Into Predictions

Then I got scared that she might feel bad, so I immediately told her, “I can see your future—you’re crying.”

She asked, “Why am I crying?”

I said, “You are going to get married very soon, but I am not there to see your wedding, so you’re crying…” Why are you so adorable?” 

She believed me. Confused by her reaction, I felt a rush when she placed her hand in mine and asked, “Can you really see my future?”

My palms sweated for the first time—that touch felt amazing. Pretending to read her palm (though I knew nothing about it), I said, “In the next 3 months, two things will happen: one good, one bad. Accept them, or nothing new will come for 2 years.”

Scared, she asked, “What’s the bad thing?”

I said, “You’ll lose this job in 2 months.”

She asked, “And the good?”

I said, “You’ll get a team manager role elsewhere, with double the salary in a month.”

She beamed and bought me a sandwich.

Eating it, I felt guilty for the first time. That day, I decided: no more lying, learn real astrology, and correct wrong information so no one gives false predictions out of ignorance.

Incomplete Knowledge is a Waste of Money

In October 2021, I searched for astrology courses online. Many charged 30-40 thousand rupees, which was too expensive. I found one basic course for just 7,000 rupees by astrologer Ashtavakra. I visited his home, but he only taught zodiac signs and nakshatras—things I already knew. He said predictions and calculations were part of the full 30,000-rupee course. I couldn't afford it, so I left without learning predictions.

That day, I realized incomplete knowledge is a waste of money, while full knowledge is a lifelong investment. I decided to earn 30,000 rupees for the complete course.

Life Rule: Never Repeat a Past Job

I needed 30k to learn astrology. I had no job. I was doing freelance therapist work, but I wanted something different, so I decided to quit massage work. To earn money, I needed a new job. My life rule: never repeat a past job. I’d already done many – electrician helper, office boy, catering boy, sales executive, tele caller, cashier, marketer, spa therapist, hairdresser, detective, boxer, website designer, SEO executive, and more.

Accidentally Joker Awakened

For a week, I couldn’t decide. Then, one day, I was standing outside my client’s housing society, waiting for their call, when one of my old clients saw me from her car. She called me and booked her next appointment. She used to call me “Joker.”

The first time in 2018 she ever called, she asked, “After the massage, do you do a happy signature?” At that moment, I didn’t understand what “happy signature” meant, and without thinking, I blurted out that, “I would tell a joke as my happy signature.” From that moment on, she kept calling me “Joker.”

I was already giving happy signatures in my own style, but I had no idea that I was being called a ‘happy signature.’ She introduced my happy signature 3 years ago, and now she has introduced my new role: ‘Happy Joker’

The moment I heard the word “Joker” from her mouth, I felt the desire to become one. That’s when I decided to become a joker.

Madness Pills, Joker on Heels

I told my mother, “I want to become a joker.”

Mom was stunned. Mom said, “You’re a graduate, you’ve worked in a bank—get a proper job. Why a joker? Have you gone mad? Are you secretly taking some madness pills? You’re writing a religious book—if you turn into a joker now, people will laugh at you. No one will take your scripture seriously.”

I understood her concern. I reassured her gently: “Mom, I’m writing a religious book. To make it authentic, I need to understand different human mindsets and the lives of people in various professions. Only then can I write something profound. I’ll be a joker for just three or four months. Once I gain that insight, I’ll move on to studying astrology and become an astrologer.”

After some thought, she relented and gave her blessing.

Gave Fire on Stage, Got Fired Backstage

That very day, I began calling circuses across the city. One agency in Andheri offered training and placement—for ₹40,000. I was saving ₹30,000 for my astrology course; another ₹40,000 was impossible. I politely declined.

Next, I tried event companies. One said they had no joker openings but needed a mascot. I agreed instantly. They asked me to report to the main gate of Goregaon Film City at 5 PM. I arrived on time. The coordinator led me inside to a lavish children’s birthday party. My job: entertain the guests inside a Patlu cartoon mascot costume.

I had never worn a mascot suit before, knew no one who had, and had no idea how Patlu was supposed to behave. Never seen Motu Patlu cartoon. I confessed, “Please guide me—I tend to make mistakes at first, then I get it right.” They shrugged. “Just put it on, stand in one spot, and wave. Nothing more. Watch us and learn.”

I slipped into the heavy Patlu costume and planted myself in position, waving mechanically. Soon a teenage girl approached, holding a glass of water and teasing, “Want some water? Drink up!”

Instinctively, I replied, “No, thank you.”

My supervisor, Saket, immediately pulled me behind the stage. he hissed, “There’s dignity in this costume, no matter what anyone does, you do not speak. Not a single word. Don’t let it happen again.”

Chastened, I went silent. The girl’s taunts no longer bothered me.

When the music started, something inside me took over. I began dancing—wild, uninhibited, completely off-beat. The children burst into laughter and joined me. Lost in the moment, I roamed the entire venue for a full thirty minutes.

Saket dragged me backstage again. he snapped, “You’re paid ₹500, not ₹5,000, Stand in one place and wave. That’s it. No wandering.”

I returned to my spot and danced lightly there instead. The kids crowded around, jumping with me. One little boy pleaded, “Pick me up!” I hoisted him into my arms.

Saket appeared once more, furious, “You’re killing me today. Keep the children away—if they tear the costume, the boss will tear into you. Final warning.”

Later, when the birthday cake was cut, all the mascots were called onstage. As soon as I stepped up, I unleashed full-throttle dancing—every limb moving, pure bliss. The other mascots just waved politely, but I was electric. A girl on stage started dancing with me; soon we were doing an impromptu romantic dance. Everyone wanted to join the frame. The crowd loved it.

After we came down, a man approached me; he said, “You’re incredible! I need you for my events. Meet me after the show.”

Another mascot overheard and warned me later: “Don’t meet him.”

I asked, “Why not?”

He replied, “Because inside this costume is a struggling, helpless person. If society sees that, they’ll feel pity instead of bliss when they see a mascot next time.”

I protested, “I’m not helpless”

He laughed bitterly. “You’re dancing for three hours in this heat, hungry, at a stranger’s party, for ₹500—and you say you’re not helpless? You’re just naive.”

Saket had already drilled it into me: maintain the mystery and dignity of the character. No one should know who’s inside. I respected that and stayed anonymous.

That first day I broke four or five rules—no training, pure beginner’s chaos. To the team, I was a disaster. As Saket left, he said, “We met today. Let’s never meet again. You spoke when you shouldn’t, roamed when you should’ve stood still, danced wildly when you should’ve just waved, and let kids near the costume when you should’ve kept them away. Everything you did was the opposite of what was asked.”

I had entertained the crowd more than any other mascot—yet I was effectively fired. In the end, they paid all the other mascots 750 rupees, but they paid me only 500 and said they would transfer the remaining 250 later because they didn’t have the change. I knew that day I had been fired, so I also knew I would never receive the remaining 250 rupees. My motto was to gain experience—and I got it—so I let the balance go.

Mascot Fired, Joker Freelance

Undeterred, I kept calling events the next day, but daily gigs were scarce. So, I decided to go freelance. I visited Dadar’s cloth market, bought bright yellow fabric, and had a proper joker costume stitched by a tailor in Nerul. Then I began promoting myself on classified sites and social media.

Last time, I had created a massage therapist profile on a classified site, but because I forgot the ID and password, I couldn’t delete it for months. Learning from that mistake, when I later made a Joker profile for freelance work, I carefully saved the login details. This allowed me to delete it easily after five months, once the gig was done. In those two months of freelance joker work, I earned 30,000 rupees.

Boss Wanted Control, I Wanted Chaos

By then, I no longer needed more training to perform as a joker, so, I applied for a full-time position as an experienced joker at Clone Event Company. During the interview, they gave me a mascot costume to wear and asked me to walk around. My movements made the staff burst into laughter. Then the boss asked, “Why do you want to remain a joker?” I replied honestly, “To make the world laugh through silly antics on stage—running around, falling, crying, laughing, slipping, and acting scared for no reason, all to display pure foolishness.”

The boss said, “I’ll call and let you know.” I knew right away that I wouldn’t get the job.

One staff member had been laughing the hardest at my performance. I asked him, “Why do you think the boss rejected me?” He replied, “The boss wants someone who can act like a joker—you are a real joker.” I said, “Isn’t that a good thing?” He explained, “An artist who acts mad on stage can be controlled. A truly mad artist cannot. You’re the latter—you’ll naturally add your own innovative twists to the act, and the boss has already sensed that.”

That conversation made everything clear. I decided to quit joker work altogether. I deleted all my joker profiles from the internet and social media. Then I shifted focus and began searching for a reputable astrology school that taught complete, in-depth astrology without holding anything back.

I discovered that Shri Ganesh Nakshatra Jyotish Vidyalaya offered a full KP astrology course designed to turn students into true scholars. I called the head of the institution, Dattaram Sawant Jyotishi, and enrolled in the advanced KP astrology class. On 9 April 2022, I paid a course fee of 22,000 rupees. Classes will be held next month in Dadar from 9 AM to 6 PM. We were provided tea twice a day and lunch once. Sawant Guruji taught with humour, making complex concepts easy and enblissable, so I absorbed the knowledge effortlessly.

However, some of my own research-based principles on astrology didn’t fully align with traditional Vedic or KP systems. From past experience, I had learnt an important lesson: when receiving knowledge from a teacher, never interrupt or argue midway. Wait until they have shared everything, then respectfully present your views. Interrupting only leads to incomplete information and unnecessary arguments. So, I stayed silent and simply absorbed whatever was being taught.

During lunch breaks, Guruji would take all twenty students to a nearby hotel and order thali for everyone. I was the biggest eater in the group. The standard thali came with three rotis, rice, two vegetables, dal, and one sweet. Guruji and his assistant Santosh ate sparingly and would ask who wanted extra rotis. I always sat near them to happily take the extras. Santosh Sir once told me, “You’re a useful guy—always sit with me for lunch. I eat less, and you’ll have a great feast.”

On July 2, 2022, which was my birthday, Sawant Sir brought printed copies of all 20 students’ birth charts. He had a printer at his house, and he used it to print horoscopes for both his clients and students. He distributed everyone’s birth chart to the other students and gave us homework to analyse each other’s charts.

When Sawant Sir handed my chart to the rest of the class, I became very nervous. I was afraid that if anyone found out it was my birthday, everyone would start asking me for a party.

After paying the astrology fees, I was already feeling broke, and I didn’t have the courage to throw a birthday party for anyone. Some people happily tell everyone about their birthday, but I was avoiding eye contact, hoping no one would find out.

In the evening, one student discovered it and said to me, “So today is your birthday.” I replied, “I’m a sadhu. I don’t celebrate birthdays. For me, every morning is my birthday.” He probably understood that I didn’t want to give a party, so he ignored it as if it were nothing special.

The next day, a few students saw the date on my birth chart and wished me a happy birthday. But by then, it was already too late—there was no need to give anyone a birthday party anymore.

The following day, Sawant Sir said, “Anyone can study astrology, but not everyone can become an astrologer. To become an astrologer, your birth chart must also show the combination for being a successful astrologer. Now everyone will check their own chart for this.”

Out of a total of eight rules, if two or three apply in your chart, you can become a successful astrologer.

Everyone started examining their own charts to look for these astrological combinations. I also began looking at mine, eagerly waiting to learn the rules.

When all the students were ready with their charts, Sawant Sir wrote down the rules for the astrologer’s combination and immediately asked everyone to check their charts and draw their conclusions.

 

Rule 1: If the sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with the 1st, 5th, or 9th house, the native develops an interest in astrology.

Now, the students began checking their own horoscopes to see whether they truly had an interest in astrology or not. I started thinking—if I didn’t have any interest in astrology, then how did I even end up in this astrology class? Still, I checked my chart.

In my horoscope, the sub-lord of the 9th house was Rahu, and Rahu had no connection with the 1st, 5th, or 9th houses. This meant that I didn’t naturally have an interest in astrology. Instead, I was learning astrology because I was influenced by someone else or due to some other reason.

(This turned out to be true—after 2024, I completely lost interest in looking at people’s birth charts.)
(This also turned out to be true. I gained some deep and hidden secrets of astrology, and my research on other mysteries is still ongoing.)
(This also came true. All the work I’ve done so far has earned me money, but between 2022 and 2025, the astrology business itself made me financially poor.)
Ganesh: That’s good. Go ahead and analyse it; I won’t interrupt.
Kedi: You analyse my horoscope.
Ganesh: You are the one who wants to become an astrologer. If you are going to analyse other people’s horoscopes, then you must analyse your own as well.
Kedi: Fine. When I’m looking at my horoscope, you can explain what’s right and what’s wrong.
Ganesh: I am the voice of your inner self. While you are fully conscious, you cannot hear your inner voice. When you are studying the horoscope, you won’t be able to hear me.

 

Rule 2: If the sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with the 9th, 11th, or 12th houses, the native gains deep and esoteric knowledge of astrology and becomes a renowned scholar in the field.

I thought, if I don’t even have a basic “interest in astrology” combination, what will I do by checking a “famous astrologer” combination? But since everyone else was checking, I decided to check as well.

In my chart, the sub-lord of the 9th house, Rahu, was sitting alone in the 12th house. I asked Savant Sir why my horoscope showed a combination for becoming a renowned astrologer. Savant Sir said, “The speed at which you are learning astrology—you really can become one.”

 

Rule 3: If the sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with the 2nd, 6th, 10th, or 11th houses, the native will achieve success in the business of astrology.

I thought, if my chart says I can become a famous astrologer, then I might even become a millionaire through astrology. But in my horoscope, Rahu (the sub-lord of the 9th house) had no connection with the 2nd, 6th, 10th, or 11th houses. This meant I would not achieve success in the business side of astrology.

 

Rule 4: If the sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with the 2nd, 7th, 10th, or 11th houses, the native can establish an independent astrology office.

I didn’t have this combination in my chart. That’s why the rented room I had turned into my astrology office ended up becoming a party house instead. Friends and clients—anyone who wanted to party—would come to my rented room. I became less of an astrologer and more of a party animal.

 

Rule 5: If the sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with the 4th or 8th houses, the native does not receive true knowledge of astrology and gains no fame through it.

Since I didn’t have this combination in my chart, I had no difficulty in gaining astrological knowledge. In fact, I learnt far more about astrology than what was taught in class.

Rule 6: If the lord of the 9th house’s nakshatra or sub-lord is connected with Mercury or Jupiter, the native gains great fame in astrology and can write books on the subject.

In my chart, the nakshatra lord of the 9th house is Mercury. Mercury, Jupiter, and the Moon are all placed in the Mrigashira nakshatra. My horoscope shows fame in the field of astrology, which is why I am able to write chapters and books on astrology.

 

Rule 7: If the nakshatra lord or sub-lord of the 9th house is connected with Mars, Saturn, or Rahu, the native gains knowledge of Tantra along with astrology.

In my chart, the sub-lord of the 9th house is Rahu. Even before learning astrology, I had already gained tantric knowledge in Kamakhya, Varanasi, and Ujjain. 

 

Rule 8: If Jupiter and Mercury are connected with Neptune, the native gains strong intuition.

In my chart, Neptune is placed in Sagittarius, which is ruled by Jupiter. Since Neptune sits in Jupiter’s sign, I constantly receive intuition about different subjects. I talk to my “second mind”, Ganesh, and deeply analyse every topic to gain intuitive understanding.

 

I understood that I would not earn money through the practice of astrology—only knowledge. Perhaps that knowledge will help me write a scripture related to Sanatan Dharma. With this thought, I decided from my heart to learn every subject of astrology in depth and to analyse my entire horoscope thoroughly.

After the class ended, when I reached home, I began a complete analysis of my horoscope. Inside me is another mind, whose name is Ganesh. Ganesh can analyse every subject very well. So I decided to let Ganesh analyse my birth chart. I began self-reflection and started talking to Ganesh within myself.

Kedi: I want to do a complete analysis of my horoscope.

Kedi: I can read the horoscope, but I still don’t understand this Nakshatra lord and Sub-Nakshatra lord.

Ganesh: The planet whose reflected energy matches the transformed light of a Nakshatra is considered the lord of that Nakshatra. For example, the energy of Mars appears green in colour. The energy light of the three Nakshatras—Mrigashira, Chitra, and Dhanishta—also appears green. Therefore, Mars has a stronger influence on these Nakshatras, which is why Mars is called their lord.

Kedi: But I’ve heard that Mars looks red.

Ganesh: The colour of a planet’s surface and the colour of its energy are different.

Kedi: They never taught us the colours of planetary energy in class. How do you know this?

Ganesh: In class, they taught you which planet is the lord of each Nakshatra, but they didn’t explain why Mars is the lord of Mrigashira. I searched for the reason, and colours showed me the way.

Kedi: I understand the Nakshatra lord now, but what is a Sub-Nakshatra lord?

Ganesh: The distance between the Earth and the Nakshatra is very great, so along with the main light of the Nakshatra’s energy, a shadow of that light also falls on the Earth. The planet associated with the colour of that shadow light becomes the Sub-Nakshatra lord.

Kedi: Are light and its shadow really different?

Ganesh: Yes, they are different. Sometimes, the light and its shadow can even be the same colour.

Kedi: You understand astrology so deeply—then why can’t you read my horoscope?

Ganesh: I can analyse events that have already happened in the past or those that will happen in the future. You must analyse what is happening in the present. When you make a mistake, I will help correct it—but for that, you must first make the mistake. You have to begin.

I created a step-by-step method to analyse my horoscope. First, I would understand the nature of all twelve houses in the chart. Then I would identify the strengths and weaknesses of all twelve houses. After that, I would study the strengths and weaknesses of the planets. Next, I would note the mutual relationships between the planets, the nakshatras, and the planetary lords of those nakshatras. I would observe the effects of planetary positions and aspects. I would also study all the yogas formed by the interactions between planets and nakshatras. Finally, by understanding the Mahadasha, I would try to predict what kind of events might occur at different times.

In the third house of my chart, Jupiter, the Moon, Mercury, and the other three soft planets are placed in the same nakshatra. Because of this, my efforts were meant to be connected with knowledge and emotions, and I have indeed worked hard in researching knowledge and feelings. The presence of Jupiter and Mercury in the third house gives me the art of becoming an astrologer and a writer, and I am working in both astrology and writing.

In the fourth house of my chart, the Sun is placed, which means my entire life revolves around my home and my mother. The influence of the Moon on the fourth house gives me a lot of love from my mother. The influence of Jupiter on the fourth house means that most of my knowledge comes to me while staying at home.

In the fifth house of my chart, Mars and Venus are in the same nakshatra. Because of this, it was written that I could get trapped in an unethical love affair, and I did get caught in an unethical romantic web with one of my female clients. With Venus in the fifth house, I have developed a romantic nature, and I fall in love easily. With Mars in the fifth house, most of my energy is being spent on creativity.

In the sixth house of my chart, Ketu stands alone. Because of this, I lack discipline, and I cannot stay in the same job or business throughout my life. I may face difficulty in getting loans, and throughout my life I have not taken a single loan. Nature itself restrains my enemies, and to this day, I do not have even one enemy.

In the tenth house of my chart, Saturn is placed, which makes all my work progress very slowly. It took me five years to write my first book. I also want moments of fun and enblissment in between my work, so a task that should take ten days ends up taking a month. In trying to maintain a balance between work and fun, I always end up being late.

In the twelfth house of my chart, Rahu is placed, which is why I like solitude. I constantly feel the desire to settle abroad. I enbliss searching for mysteries related to tantra and spirituality. My expenses are always higher than my income, which is why I always remain broke.

When I made a list of the various yogas in my chart, I was amazed myself. The chart contains both Daridra Yoga and Amir Yoga. There are both good and bad yogas, but so far I have only had to experience the bad ones. I have not even seen the good yogas in my dreams.

Whether the houses in a chart are strong or weak does not really matter if money itself is not written in the horoscope. My chart says that I will earn money only through writing, yet it still made me work in more than 20 different companies and did not allow me to earn enough.

Whatever is written in the Mahadasha of my chart is happening exactly as it should, but no other astrologer can ever predict it accurately. My life is so unpredictable, and I create so many different “incidents” in life that no astrologer can say what kind of incident I might create in the very next moment.

Conclusion: I analyzed my chart even further, but if I were to tell the world about that, it would feel as if I had removed the last piece of clothing from my body. To maintain the limits of privacy, I should not reveal everything about my chart. Sharing surface-level information is wise, but sharing deep, personal details would be foolish. Therefore, I have decided that I will not make the mistake of revealing the deeper information of my horoscope.

Note: This content represents the 31st chapter of Kedi Purana, a 44-chapter work authored by Kedi Ganapati.

Kedi Purana is a modern Purana of the present and final Kaliyuga of the current Kalpa.

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